| nothing last forever . |
[Nov. 24th, 2010|12:47 pm] |
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i feel sad . where's all those sparks we had from the start ? isit all gone ? quarels after quarels . when will everything stop ? i dont feel secure anymore . you have your own friends , you wont bring me out with them . you have much more to talk with other girls than me :( hais . i feel different . has everything change ? or isit just me being sensitive ? :(
true friends go ,
true love dont last forever ,
good memories stays with you .
but good memories go pass fast too . |
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| time wont heal for me . cause the extend of love i have for you , its uncountable . |
[Nov. 15th, 2010|10:31 pm] |
so many things happen to us after first years , quarrels after quarrels. we really been through alot for one month plus . after our one year . misunderstandings just pile more and more . i remembered how i struggle everyday to fight back for him , cause i thought i was going to lose him , how many tears i shed cause of him . i thought our love was ending . it hurts me so badly at the period i almost gave up . i forced my feelings to fade for him, but obviously i couldnt how hard i tried . after things got better and misunderstandings cleared , more things happen . i really thought that fate was pulling us apart . cause things happen again & again . i did alot of bad things to hurt him really badly . one after another & i felt really really guilty . it pains me even more than him , knowing that i hurt the one i love so deeply . i struggled so hard with my feelings , fighting back my tears everyday . i want him back . i want to showed him i only love him . & i did it . i know he loves me too . i can feel it . luckily my boyf had a forgiving heart ! <3
however , i dunno why im feeling so stress this days . i start to feel very insecure . i start to get so sensitive & even the every smallest little thing i suspect him . from talking to girl every night when he is in camp , going out every bookout night to dunno which pub or club , & if he reply slow or dont answer my calls , i will think alot . & even monetary matters . i get angry and suspect he love me lesser when he dont give me some money like how he always did in the past . not that i really want his money , of cause i dont . but at least i want to feel that he still loves me . & im so freaking sensitive & extremely paranoid . i hate that im being like this . it causes us to quarrel . i dont like :( im sorry . but i hope you understand . not that i purposely trying to find quarrel with you . just that , when i start thinking alot , i will start kicking up a fuss and of course , i have my reasons for doing so , i expects and want him to comfort and hong me . this way , i feel that he loves me . but obviously , he dont get it & dont understand what i want . & he thinks im purposely trying to quarrel with him :( some things i wanna say for so long , but i dont have the guts to . everytime i trys to talk serious , i feel that he is not being serious with what im trying to convey to him . hais :( & it gets on my nerves & again , it makes me feel he dont love me as much like last time . its my fault things turn out this way . i hate it when i feel so low confident of myself . i have no one to blame . cause after all the hurt i inflicted on him , i keep thinking that he lost trust in me & love for me starts to fade . & thus , he starts to find other better girls . :( just think , who on earth will still trust the other party and love as much when she did so many evil things behind his back ? im sorry , i really cant help but think alot these days . im really sensitive and emotional . i brought all these upon myself & now , i have no one to blame . its not that im being childish or whatsoever . its just that i love you too much , & im afraid of the fall , if it was to come .
im sorry , & i really love you . im trying my best to prove it to you . can you feel it ? how can i get back the trust i used to have for you ? why do i keep feeling you have other girls outside ? im really scared just one day , you might be gone . other girls gonna take over my place and you are going to put laughters & smiles on other girls face , instead of mine . i dont want that day to come , i dont wanna imagine . i really do love you . much more than i ever imagine . just thinking of the thought of you being with other girls , its bad enough to pain me inside out .
im sorry for thinking so much. i promise i will try my best to get over it . pls michelle , be positive & look on the bright side ! (:
he's the one that i love , the one that i always wanted .
dont ask me why , i cant explain love either ,
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| i miss you. |
[Nov. 1st, 2010|02:47 pm] |
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i miss you when something really good happens ,
you're the first one i want to share it with .
Because i miss you when something is troubling me ,
you're the only one who would've understood me .
Because i miss you , when i laugh and cry ,
you're the only one who could make me
laugh even harder and make my tears disappear .
i dont know where we went and why we grew apart ,
but you should know , i miss you . |
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| recommendation !! |
[Oct. 7th, 2010|12:40 am] |
i know i have not been blogging for very very looong ! haha . okay , so im back . (: i blogging now cause i wanna recommend you all some stuffs . haha .
i redyed my hair recently . & all i have always dyed my hair using diy hair dyes . i have been using , the lisese bubble hair dye , & i think is pretty good ! the colours all come out pretty well . the results are very worth you spending 20 bucks on the hair dye ! hahaha . for me , i have long hair , so i use 2 bottles for better effect . & the ending result is really good i feel . haha . i used lisese sweet apricot recently . its their new colour . & im very satisfied okay ! (: hehhe . much recommended ! (:
this the hair dyee ! (:
& see the colour , its more to the reddish brown .
the colour looks better in real life !
& after , use essential's hair mask . ( ultra honey & shea butter ) its really good ! it treats split ends , and dont make your hair seems very dry & frizzy . & it leaves your hair very soft ! ppl with damaged or very dry hair should seriously use this . or if your hair has undergo colouration or rebonding alot of time , should use their hair mask too !! japan products seriously rocks . i wonder why japan can always come up with such great stuff ! (: hehe this is the hair mask ! ( im without makeup for all the pics below okay ! so pardon my face , i know i look terrible .) just look at that hair mask ! <3  its ultra money & shea butter . my face seriously look cui here . fuck . no makeup i can really die ! omg  see my hair ! look smooth right ?! hehe  thats why i really love japan products ! they are fantastic know?!?! japannnnn <3<3<3 thats all ppl ! |
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| xiao xiao bin ! |
[Sep. 11th, 2010|03:36 am] |
i saw xiao xiao bin at bugis while working !!!! he is freaking cute i tell you all ! MY GOD ! * screams *hhahaha . alot ppl went to take pics with him that day . hehehe . & his grandma was liek damn friendly . she said to me : " ni yao he ta pai zhao ma ? wo gen ni pai . " hahhaha . <3 awww .  i shall blog on me & baby one year ani tmr . hehehe <3
i love my boyf ! |
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| shoot . |
[Sep. 11th, 2010|02:47 am] |
i haven been bloggingg for longgg ! hahaha . miss me , ?! dont think alot ppl reads my blog anyway . hahaha .
so yea, went for f1 shoot last sunday . baby followed me ! hahaha . the agent is irritating . on the way there , he told us that the photoshoot is postponed due to the heavy rain . so nvm , went slack at mac with nisa. (: after an hour , he called again saying the rain has stopped and wanted us to go for the shoot again . like wtf ?! luckily , we didnt went back home ! but my boyf was giving me a difficult time so we dragged very long before we reached there . by the time we reached , the makeup & hair artist was all there alr . and the place was seriously bad . mosquitoes everywhere ! sickening , my legs was freaking itchy :( should have brought insect repellent or smth luh .
so , did my makeup . & omg , i think my makeup was really bad . they put this green eyeshadow for me & my boyf said i look like prostitute or some ghost . lol ! but i liked my hair , they curl it up for me without using a curler . hahhaa . after waiting , makeup & everything , it was pretty late alr , and i was afraid my boyf wouldnt rush in time to book in. anyway , finished everything around 6 . & we cabbed back to yishun with that heavy makeup stil on me . luckily we cabbed sia . hahhaa . reached his house , immediately removed the makeup and see baby pack his army stuffs & then his off to army :( hehe . havent receive my pics yet . fuck . here's some pics before the shoot .
look at my eyes ! arghh . not niceee :( i like my hair ! hehehe (: |
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| fact . |
[Aug. 26th, 2010|02:01 am] |
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"love is a funny thing. you except it to be easy. you expect it to be a world of roses and laughs and perfect moments that you find in movies. you expect him to always say the right thing, and always know exactly how you feel, or exactly how to react to it.you expect him to calm you down when you are yelling or to chase you when you run away. You expect so much that you feel entirely , & utterly defeated when something doesnt exactly match up with all your plans. But that's the thing, love isnt a plan. It doesnt have a certain beginning and it certainly has no end or visible finish line to those deeply in it . love happens , & its incredibly messy . "
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michelleewoo's journal
